Kyrie and the Flat Earth

Hey SportsFans…evidently Kyrie Irving said he believes the earth is flat at an NBA All-Star press conference. OK…lemme see… uh… this is the best explanation for Kyrie’s Flat Earth:

LeBron: “Hey Kyrie”
Kyrie: “Yes boss”
LeBron: “You know how the media is, and how they are gonna keep hounding us about Kevin’s knee?”
Kyrie: “Yes sir”
LeBron: “That could get to be a distraction to the team”
Kyrie: “But he is injured…”
LeBron: “I need you to set a screen. Let the media talk about something else for a while”
Kyrie: “Like what?”
LeBron: “Be creative, didn’t they teach you that in college?”
Kyrie: “Well, I guess…”
LeBron: “Kyrie, and remember what our goal is”
Kyrie: “To win you a champion….”
[LeBron clears his throat.}
Kyrie, hurriedly, “…I mean, we are here to bring a championship to the great people of Cleveland.”
[LeBron smiles]
Kyrie, “Thank you for this opportunity, Sir. Please don’t trade me to Minnesota.”

 

Later…

 

LeBron: “Kyrie”
Kyrie: “Yes Sir?”
LeBron: “For real?”
Kyrie: “I did what you said.”
LeBron: “I need my point guard to be intelligent.”
Kyrie: “But…what could I have…”
LeBron: “Punched a mascot, like Rodman. Spilled a soda on the floor, like Kidd. Claim to have slept with 10,000 women, like Wilt. Bitched about the refs, like Cuban…”
Kyrie: “But if I complain about the refs, they might fine me a couple thousand dollars…”
LeBron, shaking his head, calls out: “Yo Kev, what’s the Winter heating costs in Minnesota?”
Kevin Love: “Please don’t send me back there! I’ll be fine by the second round of the playoffs. I promise. I’ll come back like Mr Reed did in ’70.”
Kyrie: “who’s Reed?”
LeBron, glowering at Kyrie: “Read. A. Book.”
LeBron turning to Kevin: “You played with Westbrook at UCLA, what do you think?”
KevinLove: “Sir, I don’t think Westbrook would fit in with the Cleveland system. If I may, Sir. How difficult is it to be a point guard in the Cleveland System? The density of your play warps space time to make it easier to get assists, by passing to you, or have an open three because you’re double teamed. And…”
LeBron: “You just make that up? That space-time thing?”
KevinLove: “No sir, been think about it a while. I was reading books, like you told me to, and I was reading Stephen Hawking, and…”
LeBron: “It’s stupid.”
KevinLove: “I’ll never mention it again. I forgot, this team is not about any one player. We are here to win a championship for the wonderful city of Cleveland.”
KevinLove, thinking: [So glad I didn’t say it at a press conference.]
Advertisements

Tags:

2 Responses to “Kyrie and the Flat Earth”

  1. heathercim Says:

    Did you make that all up?

  2. :-jon Says:

    It’s all true.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: