Archive for the ‘NBA’ Category

Russell Westbrook MVP

8 April, 2017

Hey Sports Fans,

all I gotta say is Mr. Russell “Triple Double” Westbrook is this year’s NBA Most Valuable Player.

 

Kyrie and the Flat Earth

20 February, 2017

Hey SportsFans…evidently Kyrie Irving said he believes the earth is flat at an NBA All-Star press conference. OK…lemme see… uh… this is the best explanation for Kyrie’s Flat Earth:

LeBron: “Hey Kyrie”
Kyrie: “Yes boss”
LeBron: “You know how the media is, and how they are gonna keep hounding us about Kevin’s knee?”
Kyrie: “Yes sir”
LeBron: “That could get to be a distraction to the team”
Kyrie: “But he is injured…”
LeBron: “I need you to set a screen. Let the media talk about something else for a while”
Kyrie: “Like what?”
LeBron: “Be creative, didn’t they teach you that in college?”
Kyrie: “Well, I guess…”
LeBron: “Kyrie, and remember what our goal is”
Kyrie: “To win you a champion….”
[LeBron clears his throat.}
Kyrie, hurriedly, “…I mean, we are here to bring a championship to the great people of Cleveland.”
[LeBron smiles]
Kyrie, “Thank you for this opportunity, Sir. Please don’t trade me to Minnesota.”

 

Later…

 

LeBron: “Kyrie”
Kyrie: “Yes Sir?”
LeBron: “For real?”
Kyrie: “I did what you said.”
LeBron: “I need my point guard to be intelligent.”
Kyrie: “But…what could I have…”
LeBron: “Punched a mascot, like Rodman. Spilled a soda on the floor, like Kidd. Claim to have slept with 10,000 women, like Wilt. Bitched about the refs, like Cuban…”
Kyrie: “But if I complain about the refs, they might fine me a couple thousand dollars…”
LeBron, shaking his head, calls out: “Yo Kev, what’s the Winter heating costs in Minnesota?”
Kevin Love: “Please don’t send me back there! I’ll be fine by the second round of the playoffs. I promise. I’ll come back like Mr Reed did in ’70.”
Kyrie: “who’s Reed?”
LeBron, glowering at Kyrie: “Read. A. Book.”
LeBron turning to Kevin: “You played with Westbrook at UCLA, what do you think?”
KevinLove: “Sir, I don’t think Westbrook would fit in with the Cleveland system. If I may, Sir. How difficult is it to be a point guard in the Cleveland System? The density of your play warps space time to make it easier to get assists, by passing to you, or have an open three because you’re double teamed. And…”
LeBron: “You just make that up? That space-time thing?”
KevinLove: “No sir, been think about it a while. I was reading books, like you told me to, and I was reading Stephen Hawking, and…”
LeBron: “It’s stupid.”
KevinLove: “I’ll never mention it again. I forgot, this team is not about any one player. We are here to win a championship for the wonderful city of Cleveland.”
KevinLove, thinking: [So glad I didn’t say it at a press conference.]

Basketball games

27 December, 2014

My Father-in-law is too kind to me, and had NBA games on the main TV all Christmas Day.

  • Wizards – Knicks…. Oh the mess that is the NY Knickerbockers. Why did Phil Jackson that the job as president ? Did he look at the roster, did he notice the bloated payroll? Why did he pick a rookie coach?
  • Thunder – Spurs…. Spurs missing Kawhi, Thundering missing Durant.
  • Cavs – Heat … Caves are still getting to know each other, while Heat have basically been together four years. What? Bosh didn’t play. Hmmm…Heat still pretty good.
  • Lakers – Bulls… Kobe sat out, because “I’m old “. Team did alright… Well, not really.
  • Warriors – Clippers….Father In Law joked, five years ago who would’ve thought we would want to see these two teams. This was a fun game to watch. MsS asked who I wanted to win. I huts wanted a close game…it was until the end.

Boxing Day

Rockets v Grizzlies… MrG’s favorite team is the Rockets, because James Harden is his favorite player. I’m partial to Griz, because I like Zebo and Gasol.  But Josh Smith… Talented, not thriving with previous team, maybe he’ll work out for Rockets. I hope so.

NBA All Star Game 2015

26 December, 2014

Tonight, MrGrunty was excited to learn that he can vote for the NBA All-Stars.

he voted for

  • James Harden, his favorite player
  • Josh Smith, just added to Houston Rockets
  • Dwight Howard…Rockets
  • Damian Lillard…not sure why
  • Russel Westbrook …his second favorite player

Rondo part 2

22 December, 2014

I am happy for Mr Rajon Rondo being traded to Dallas. I predict that using this seasons stats, comparing before and after the trade…

Rondo’s shooting percent will increase.
Dallas’ defense will improve.

The King’s royal faux pas

13 December, 2014

So…some British royalty were in town, and wanted to watch LeBron play. After, a photo-op, and LeBron put his arm around the Duchess. Evidently a no-no for a “commoner” to do.

I’m gonna have to say that LeBron has done more to earn the title of “the King” than anyone in the royal family has.

Improving the NBA – tickets

10 December, 2014

This idea from Bill Simons of Grantland. If a team misses the playoffs, they can’t raise ticket prices the next year. And if they miss playoffs again, have to lower ticket prices.

Let’ reward loyal fans if sucky teams.

Let’s give billionaires a financial incentive to have a good franchise.

 

NBA draft

9 December, 2014

Currently, the worst teams have the best chance for picking first in NBA draft. This gives incentive for team to tank, to lose on purpose.

What if…the teams that didn’t make playoffs were assigned lottery pick number by how well they filled the stadium? This is good because…

  • No incentive to tank
  • incentive to fill the seats
  • gives fans a chance to actually help their team

Rajon Rondo

8 December, 2014

Mr. Rajon Rondo is one of my favorites. “Tricky” is the first word I use when describing him. When I first discovered him, playoffs against LeBron…I had seen LeBron chase down a fast break and block the shot. Evidently so had Rondo, and when he got his chance, one time he tossed the layup way up high’ and LeBron swatted backboard, another, in mid-air, Rondo behind the back to a trailing teammate for an easy basket as Rondo and LeBron landed. He is the best at behind the back passes, and, so good at selling the pass, that he can trick you and bring the ball back from behind his back.

I just hope that Boston helps him out, and gets some better players on the team for him to work with.

 

Kobe

1 December, 2014

Ah…Mr Kobe Bryant…one of the best basketball players of all time. The all-time leader in missed shots. The only person to get 30,000 points and 6,000 assists.

A few of his commercials sum up how I feel aboot him.

In one he’s playing basketball, and the screen pauses “Matrix” style, and Kobe runs through his mind which of three options should he do next. Basketball is like jazz, improvisation with a team.

In one, he’s waiting for a female (off screen) to get ready for a date, and he’s bored so he gets a ball of paper and shoots baskets at the waste basket. I wouldn’t be surprised that in real life when his friend or wife is ready that he tells her to wait until he gets 100 in a row. Because I think that is all he cares about.

in a McDonalds commercial, there’s a group of kids that is one player short, and they’re gonna have to forfeit the game. Kobe walks up, says he can help. In the commercial the coach is awestruck and the kids don’t know who Kobe is. I thought fearfully when I first saw this, “oh my God, Kobe is gonna slam dunk the ball on some six year olds, talk trash and make the kids cry.”

I love it when he’s playing for team USA…because he won’t let the team relax or goof off, they’re their to win.

I wonder who would’ve been his best teammate…someone who is just as pathologically focused on winning, but able to thrive in the #2 spot.

I wonder, watching the train wreck of a season the Lakers are having how long until Kobe strangles Carlos Boozer. Boozer has always seemed to me someone who is great, but wants to be paid as super-great, and is willing to put in 80% effort.